21 Sep Gender Consulting – When Someone Needs More Than Cross-Dressing
Gender Consulting – When Someone Needs More Than Cross-Dressing
Many men come to me for help with cross-dressing, either for teaching or to live out their fantasies. But what about when it goes further? Some clients are questioning their male identity all together. They want more than part time dressing; they want to live their lives that way, but they don’t know how or where to start. Still others are confused, and may not know what they want at all.
Through the consulting part of my business (coaching, tutoring and mentoring), I have helped countless trans gender and trans sexual women to navigate their lives and find solutions to questions and concerns about transformation from male to female. My own unique perspective, experience and knowledge of transformation makes me an empathetic and supportive transgender life coach.
Learning Who You Are
Do they come out? How far are they comfortable with taking this? With a degree in psychology, I am able to draw upon my own challenges and engage in intellectual discussion about wants, needs, desires, fantasies, sex and lifestyles in a safe and private environment. Sessions may start out as a simple discussion and morph into something else. It is not uncommon for me to interact or engage with my clients to explore areas of sexuality, gender and erotic play but its not a requirement either.
The first step in finding a way forward is knowing where you want to end up. Through discussion of their feelings, and their past I learn more about a client, and I help them understand the options available to them. Over the course of many sessions I help them decide what their identity is, first of all. And then we talk about where they want to go – will they be comfortable with living part time, or do they need to be able to express their trans gender identity in places like work or school?
One individual whom I recently mentored thought himself to be bi curious and scheduled an appointment to come over to explore what he thought he desired. He discovered that he was really seeking personal development and understanding, not physical or sexual touch. We spent the majority of our time together in discussion and discovery.
Fear of Judgment
For those that do decide they want to be female, not just in private but in every day life the biggest obstacle is often the fear of how others will react. It’s not an unreasonable concern. People have lost jobs, and even families over the choice to transition before. So is it worth it? It depends on the person. For me, it was, but everyone is different. part of my help is to talk with them about ways to introduce the news to family, friends, and coworkers; talk about how those people might react; and discuss possible ways forward. In the end the decision has to be theirs – my job is simply to provide them as many tools as I can to make the most informed decision.
And for those that do move forward, I can provide emotional support to help them through the challenges that result.
Navigating the Transition Process
There are also practical considerations once someone decides to transition. How do they get access to hormones? How do they navigate the legal paperwork attendant to changing their identity? What kinds of surgical options are available and how much do they cost? How do they find a gender therapist? It can be a fairly overwhelming process, but I’ve been there, and for someone interested physical transition, I am happy to provide advice on how to navigate it as easily and painlessly as possible.
I want to empower people. I want to change lives. I want to help people become the best versions of themselves, and live the lives that will make them truly happy.