Escort: The “Hi” Guy

Think, before you text me “Hi”! 

With the rise of social media, and texting, I and other providers have found a certain type of booking request has become more and more prevalent. I call them “the Hi guys”. They are the men who open a conversation with a provider simply with “Hi” and no other information. What does that even mean?
The problem is that “Hi” gives me nothing to work with. What do you want? What are you offering to pay for it? Any limits I should know? At least give me a name!
I know that some men are nervous. And I know that frankly, some guys are just texting a dozen providers a minute seeing who answers first. It’s the 21st century, stuff moves fast, and I get that. But I like clients to give me some indication of what they’re looking for in the session!
In honor of these pithy would-be customers, here is a brief list of things that goes through my head when I see the message “hi” from a new client, and nothing else:

• Is that your current state of consciousness?
• Would you like it to be?
• Are you curious how to get there?
• Are you offering to help me get there?
• Now that it’s legal, do i really need to have a weed guy anymore?
• Perhaps those are just your initials?
• Is that an acronym (they’re always coming up with new ones in this business)?
• Did you get in a car accident before you could finish your text?
• Where do I send the flowers?
• Don’t text and drive!
• Is this the full extent of what you need to say to me at this moment?
• Is English, perhaps, a language you have trouble with?

What do I want, then? Surely I don’t expect clients to write me a novel? No, of course not! All I expect is a simple, direct indication of what kinds of activity you’re looking for, what time, and a price range if we haven’t spoken before about my rates. Simple, and to the point!